The Dash

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.

2015 – most years come and go and you can’t remember a damn thing about them.  2015 is not a year like that.

It started out with a bang – we started the year with a party and big fireworks at midnight. I was in a good place. I wasn’t starting the year wanting to lose weight for the first time in a long time. My career was hopefully progressing since this was my second year back in taxes, and I was hopeful that I would feel more secure and competent in my position.  I had recovered from my marathon in November and was ready to start training again.  I had won a free training plan from @DizRuns and was going to start training with him for the Colfax Marathon in May.  I had put together my vision board for the year, with my plan to focus on running 2 marathons this year. 2015 was looking to be a good year.

20150105_172541
2015 Vision Board

I ran the SweetHeart 10k in Fruita in February and placed 3rd in my age group – only prizes for the first 2 places, but still, very happy with my performance.  Sub 9 pace for that race. I was quite proud of myself.

Wayne and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary on March 18 – complete with 26 roses delivered to my office.  Every year since we’ve been married – 1 rose for each year married. We were in a good place.  Marriage has its peaks and valleys and we were at a peak this year. We were so sappy with each other all day that day.  Sweet love texts back and forth all day and plans to have a nice dinner together. Our anniversary has always been OUR day – lots of hand holding and kisses and tears, as we celebrate our love and all that we have been through together. It was a great day.

Anniversary roses
26 roses = 26 years of wedded bliss

10 days later, we lost Brice. We held each other close, and that day spent celebrating our marriage and our commitment to each other – was a day to get us prepared to hold each other closer and stay committed to each other.  Together, we would get through what we never imagined could happen.

2015 did not end on March 28, but it did change.

Success in my work place no longer mattered, but I still went to work. Running became my therapy, not just my hobby and weight loss manager. But I knew that in spite of the loss and the hole in my chest – I was still a mom to Breanna and Chase and Chelsea.  I was still a wife to Wayne. I was still Angela and a runner. And so life continues…

I continued to train for the Colfax Marathon, and we traveled to Denver in May for me to run it.  Around mile 9 I started to have some pain down the side of my leg and eventually called it quits around mile 13.  DNF – Did Not Finish.

 

I turned 46 in June and was quite surprised to arrive home from shopping with the girls to a houseful of people bearing gifts and birthday wishes.  Wayne managed to surprise me with a birthday party – food, drinks, dancing and hula hooping. It was a good day.

I ran the Children with Hope 10k in June and got my first age grouper award. I took first place in the 40-49 category with a time of 55:35. I had no idea that I was going to place and was just ecstatic when they called my name.

Breanna was home for the summer from school for the first time since she started college – this was good for all of us.  Her boyfriend, Adrian, came to live with her for most of the summer – which was also good for all of us. We got to do some hiking in Devil’s Canyon, and took a road trip over Lizard Head Pass to go to Mesa Verde and Four Corners, so I could meet with a long-lost room mate that I hadn’t seen since 1993.

2015 had lots of firsts: I wore a bikini for the first time since I was 25. I grew watermelons in my garden. I cut my hair short – again. We got kittens for the first time in years. I crashed while trail running. I got to run with my sisters and made new running friends. I ran my first ultra, in spite of the fact that I couldn’t finish my 2nd marathon. I started a blog.

2015 will always be the year that we lost Brice – but I know that it cannot be what defines me, what defines us. I’m not the only person on this planet to lose a loved one or have a bad year. 2015 has been by far the hardest and worst year I have had, and yet in so many ways it has been a good year.  And it’s okay to enjoy the good times, in spite of the bad.  I’m still making the most of my dash. IMG_1914

 

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